Flicker Of Faith
by Coco2008
Summary: Cato/OC Romance. Basically, it's kind of depressing but I intend to add a lot of Cato and action. Nevelyn from District 11 is riddle with a certain plan. Her death sentence. She convinces one corrupt tribute that he's in the wrong, but can he convince her before it's too late ?
1. Prologue

I dream of what happened a year ago. The day when everything changed for me. The day I gave myself a death sentence.

My parents were always against the Capitol and it's sadistic rules. For as long as I can remember they tried to rebel, but the worst that would come to them was whipping. I hated seeing them tortured, but it made me understand how cruel the Capitol can be when people have ideas.

No one would join them when they decided to strike. I remember going to school one day and being stared at since everyone heard about what my parents were doing. I glared at them but they only judged me more. I thought they were doing the right thing since the Capitol were so mean, but I was only a girl then. My mind could be moulded to form any opinion with the right influence.

But now I'm a woman, and this is that last chance to make my parents happy.

Last year was a terrible year. A thirteen year old girl was chosen. My parents knew her mother, her father had died from sickness four years before that. She was just a little girl, stick thin from not having a lot to eat. I saw her cry as she walked up onto the stage.

No one volunteered. I didn't have the strength to. I wanted to so badly. I was bigger than her, I had more of a chance of winning but the odds weren't in anyone's favour that year. Then again, they never are for anyone.

My parents told me they had had enough. They needed to show the Capitol that they couldn't kill the inhabitants of Panem. Using childrens' mortality for entertainment is extremely grim.

They did what I could never forget. They made placards and protested in front of the Justice Building. They didn't tell me they were going to do it. They seemed normal in the morning, I went to work out in the crops oblivious.

The Peacekeepers did their jobs.

The job of a Peacekeeper must be interesting. Having to live out where we do but have the rights of a Capitol person.

They shot my parents. I was told when I came home from work.

It was past sunset and I was tired. It'd been a rough day since I didn't harvest a lot and was shouted at. I couldn't wait to see my parents. I loved them and they loved me.

I was told by Morwen, our neighbour. She felt sorry for me.

I collapsed in shock. I didn't know what else to do but cry. I cried for ages, and she was there the entire time comforting me. She said that she would look after me.

She then told me that they died protesting. I stopped crying after that. They died believing in the right. They didn't die from mercy, they died from courage.

I didn't cry anymore after that. I'd never made my parents fully happy before that day. It's a shame that they won't see it in person when I do.

I had the plan from when the girl died in the Hunger Games. I saw her die. It was in the hands of a Career tribute. The deadliest one by the look of him.

My plan was to go into the Hunger Games and die. Not murdered, but suicide. I would be the last one left and when they're about the take me out of the arena, I'd stab myself in the heart. I'd scream 'YOU DON'T OWN ME. YOU THINK YOU CAN PLAY ME LIKE A PUPPET BUT YOU'RE WRONG'. I want to die a martyr, the way my parents did.


	2. Chapter 1

Usually I'm hesitant on waking up on this day. However, today is different. Besides, I could hardly get any sleep last night.

I see the sun rise over the crop field and stare. I will never see that again. I then close my eyes, I keep the picture in my head. It's a beautiful scene, but the picture lies. It's not beautiful at all.

The sun represents the day is beginning, and for some family, their child will be sent to the slaughter house. That child isn't me, but I'll be joining them.

In a few weeks that family will have to carry on working in that crop field, they won't see their child again though.

I look through the window of the house adjacent to me. I see someone walking around. I look closer and I see a father waking up their child. The father walks out and the child gets up properly. He looks around fifteen, he'll be panicked about the date I'm sure. Maybe his sleep brought him dreams of hope, but reality ruins life for the most nowadays.

He looks out of his window and I hide. He must've seen me but I don't move. The awkward position starts to hurt my legs and I can feel them burning up. I roll off the end of my bed and stand up properly. I make my bed as usual but there's really no point. I won't be back in the evening to sleep in it.

I walk out in the clothes I slept in and sit down on the slightly broken wooden chair in the main room. Morwen, my guardian, is outside, probably getting in the dress I will wear today.

The Reaping is the time of year I wear a dress. I always wore my mothers'. This year is no different but she isn't here to help me get ready.

Morwen comes in with it. The cream frock is draped over her arms. It has embroidered detailing at the hem and puffed sleeves. I don't hate it, but I'm not a fan either. She hangs it up over her bedroom door frame and gets some bread out of the tin.

She doesn't bother with a plate, she never has. I chew it slowly. I don't feel like eating. The taste is bland like usual, but it does fill my belly and I have to be thankful for that.

She goes back outside to fill up a metal tub. I can hear the water gushing through the tap. She drags it back in and gets out the soap and brush. She then leaves me on my own.

I strip from my bed clothes and lay them on the table. I grab the soap and brush and step into the water. It's mildly cold but I'm used to it. I sit down and cup the water in my hands and let it splash onto me. I use the soap and brush to scrub harshly on my skin, getting rid of the crud between my finger nails and all of the dirt in my hair.

I use a jug to wash the soap out of my hair, now smelling half decent. I sit for a while. Then I start to get chilly so I hop out and use an old towel to rub myself dry.

I dry my hair with force, I don't want to get my dress wet, and wrap it up in the towel. I take the dress off the hanger and go into my room. I get some old under wear and put it on. I put the dress on but I need help with the zip.

I walk out into the main room and see Morwen coming back in. I assume she took the water out since the tub isn't there anymore.

"Can I have help please" I asked, and I turn around. She walks up to me in silence and zips me up. She turns me around and half smiles.

"You look better, Nev" she says. She shortens my name, it's really Nevelyn. I don't mind the nickname. "Shall I help you with your hair?"

I nod and we go into her room to sit at her dressing table. She gets her hair brush, something passed on from her mother, it's a luxury that is rarely seen in District 11. She then brushes through the knots in my hair, getting some help from the soap so it's easier to go through.

While it's drying she gets some socks and shoes for me to wear. I put them on myself, but Morwen is there, watching me.

She knows what I am going to do. She did try to stop me at the beginning but I refused. No one could stop me. Instead she help me put on some weight. I didn't put on much but it was more than I usually gain in a year. She wanted me to be strong in the arena.

I told her that if the odds were in my favour, I'd volunteer. I told her not to come and see me after I was picked, and I told her not to cry. That was one thing I told her not to do. I don't want anyone crying over me. I don't deserve the tears.

My hair dried after a while and Morwen got to crafting it. She brushes through it again, checking for any knots that didn't get untangled the first time and the grabs a white ribbon. She grips my hair up as to be put into a ponytail but instead she ties it neatly with the bow.

It looks pretty. I don't usually look after my appearance. I sometimes go days without washing my hair; it's just a fuss I think. I was going to cut it all off at one point but my mother disagreed. She loved my hair. I grew it out since she last saw it. It used to be passed my shoulders but now it's past my chest, but it doesn't reach my waist. It's a dark brown, very plain but mother loved playing with it. It relaxed her. I loved it when she played with my hair. She nimble fingers felt lovely against my head.

I don't let Morwen play with it. Though, she does compliment it sometimes. Her fingers are calloused, they've seen years of work and they don't feel the same way my mothers' did. My hair curls slightly at the tip, but it's flat at the top. If it didn't curl it would look silly, it would just hang off my head, lifeless. The curls give it some life, although I always have it up in a ponytail.

I thank Morwen for helping me and I hear the horn to signal the time to come to the square. I give a shuddery sigh in response and Morwen puts her hand on my shoulder. I look at her and she smiles at me, more sorrow than happiness.

"You're brave Nevelyn, remember that" she mumbles. I don't respond, I just look at her. I will miss Morwen, she looked after me and I could never thank her enough for that. But she won't have another mouth to feed tonight, just herself and that should be easier for her. But I'll see my parents soon, and I can't hold myself back.

We walk out of the little shack and Morwen walks with the other nervous mothers.

I walk on my own. I see the other girls, holding each other's hands. They're scared, every single one. I'm scared too, but I won't show anyone that.

I keep walking down the dusty track and look up for a second. I then spot him. He's walking on his own too.

Barrone. My old best friend. I didn't talk to him after my parents died. We did everything together. We knew each other since we were children, and it's a shame that I ended up not talking to him. I loved him like a brother and I'll never forget that friendship. The only one I truly treasured.

I remember how we met; it was such a long time ago. I was five years old and I had nothing to do. My parents were out working; this was a time before they got their radical ideas. I was left on my own, Morwen was unofficially looking after me, she was ill so she was home.

I sat in my room playing with my only toy, a teddy. To this day I don't regret giving it to Barrone.

It was the day before the Reaping and everyone was slightly on edge. My parents were fine since they only had me and I was too young to enter my name.

I decided to go for a walk, it was a nice day, I had no intent to waste it. My parents had no worry about me being taken by a stranger; no one really wanted the responsibility of a child. I walked to the small park, all it really was was a patch of rich grass which was taken care of by people who lived in the richer part of District 11, and it had a bench.

When I got to the park I saw a small boy, about my age sitting on the bench. He was hugging his knees and as I got closer I could hear snuffling. I was confident as a child, and I wanted to sit on the bench, he was taking up all of the room.

I sat next to him and he looked up. He had been crying and I was interested why he was so sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He put his legs down and wiped his small hands on his nose, getting rid of the substance that had appeared.

"My…my brother" he started. He started crying again. I felt obliged to make him feel better, he look awful when he was sad.

"It's ok, you can tell me" I reassure.

"My brother, tomorrow, he had his name put in" he sniffled. He looked up at me and I looked into his eyes for the first time. He looked so innocent.

"It'll be ok, he won't get picked" I said. I didn't know much about the Reaping back at that age, but I did learn that the people picked rarely came back.

He looked at me, a little more positive. "You think?"

I nod. I then smile at him which he mimics.

"You're it!" he screams and hits my arm. He then runs off. I run after him.

The next day I stood next to him whilst his brother was in the pen. I held his hand as the escort made her way onto the stage. I don't think he took any notice but I held anyway.

She called out the female tribute; I remember her being fifteen years old. Then she called out for the boy.

I heard the name but I didn't recognize it. I looked at Barrone and I saw a tear. It was his brother. He squeezed my hand and cried more. In comfort I gave him a hug, but it didn't stop his brother from going up onto the stage.

Barrone's brother didn't survive those Games. The Careers killed him I was told. When he died, Barrone was heartbroken, so I gave my teddy bear. We stayed friends for thirteen years after that.

I stopped talking to him the day my parents died. I didn't really want to talk to anyone but Morwen took me in so I didn't have a choice.

I really do regret leaving Barrone, we only had each other and now we are both alone. He walks in front of me but he looks around once. He spots me, but it isn't awkward. He doesn't smile at me, he doesn't wave he just walks and stares. I stare back and know the feeling's mutual.

I don't blame him for not talking. It was I who left him anyway.

We all get into line to have our blood taken. The mothers gather on the outside of the square, some of them holding each other. I then spot Morwen. She's holding onto no one.

I have my finger pricked and I walk into the pen with the other girls. No one looks at me, and I just look at the stage.

Finally, after what seemed to me like half an hour, our District escort, Ambrosia Biffle wobbles into sight. Her heels, taller and spikier than the weapons used in the arena, hardly support her weight, and she struggles.

"Welcome everybody to the 74th Hunger Games" she beams. She always seems happy, she's only been escort for three years, but from a distance she looks older. The Capitol changes everyone who lives there. People from the District's look normal; normal coloured hair, normal coloured skin and normal clothes. The Capitol people look different. A rainbow of hair and skin colours. The clothes are awful. I would hate to have to wear that stuff.

I realize the Capitol film has ended when I snap back into reality, and I can sense that everyone's on edge.

"Now's the time to choose the tribute. Of course, ladies first" she teeters over to the huge glass bowl which contains one slip with my name on it. She hesitates picking out a slip but once she does she smiles and goes back to the microphone.

She opens the slip and reads out, "Nevelyn Deaton"

The girls around me looked at me. I only smiled a little at the corner of my mouth. Well, I don't have to make the day awkward by volunteering. Maybe volunteering would've made more of a scene. Only people from Career Districts volunteer. They do it because they're arrogant and they want to make their parents happy. It's in their blood to kill, to be of savage mind. I think it's barbaric. I walk out of the crowd and everyone's eyes are on me. I didn't expect to be so embarrassed; I hate people staring at me. I lessen my smirk into a think line, I try not to look to agitated, I should be happy.

I walk up to the stage and greeted by Ambrosia, who smiles at me. I don't want her to smile at me. She's part of what I hate.

She then goes on to the boys. "Thresh Oka" I recognize him. He was in the same year as me in school.

He shows no emotion as he makes his way onto stage. He seems confident. He's stealing my personality. I want to be the confident one, the one who knows all the answers, but it seems he know them too. He's big too; I might just be out of luck.

We're told to shake hands, his hand dominates mine. I try not to look so scared when faced with him. He's now my enemy, no matter what District, no matter what family, no matter what presence he may bring. He will die for me to die.


	3. Chapter 2

Thresh and I get taken into the Justice Building. Peacekeepers stand by our side, ready to chase when some tribute decides running away is the best option. It's happened before but the Peacekeepers are fast, the children get dragged back into the building. It's happened once in 11, and I've seen it happen in other Districts as well.

We get put in separate rooms, the Peacekeepers stay outside the door. I go to the window, I think about if anyone has considered climbing out but I see that it's a stupid choice. The square is full of people, mostly Peacekeepers and I know they won't move until we leave.

I sit for a while. I don't think anyone will come in. I don't want people to come in. But that doesn't happen.

I hear the door open and I look.

Barrone slowly makes his way in. The door shuts and he stands still at the side of the room.

It's silent for a while. I find it awkward but I don't speak.

"Morwen told me"

I breathe in quickly. I didn't want him to know, but now he does.

"You're stupid, but I won't stop you"

I stand up immediately and hug him. I curse myself, I didn't want to see anyone but now the tears start to flow. Tears show the weakness of a tribute. I decide I don't care since I'm with my friend.

It reminds me of the first time we hugged, except the tables have turned slightly. The first time was for Barrone's brother, not for him initially. Now Barrone's hugging me for the last time, and only for me. It'll be last the one I'll ever have. I'm glad it's Barrone and not Morwen.

I pull my head back and look up at him.

"Do it. For District 11. For everyone who's suffered" he says with a grimace. I know what he means. His brother, my parents.

The Peacekeepers come back in and take him away. I wipe my eyes furiously.

When they come back to take me I assume I look ok since I spot Thresh, and he doesn't look at me strangely. I wonder how his parents and siblings are doing. They shouldn't have anything to worry about though. The odds may not be in his favour in District 11, however, there might be a possibility that they would be in his favour in the arena. I try to forget the possible inevitable and focus on leaving and getting rid of my reddened face. I breathe deeply, compose myself and we go outside.

The Peacekeepers are near us when we walk to the car. It's a fascination to me. I've never seen one before and was sceptical when Ambrosia said we'd be heading to the car. It's large and shiny, a Peacekeeper opens the door and we get in. Ambrosia sits in the middle of Thresh and I. She jabbers on about the train and how nice it is but all I focus on is my District. I want to remember it for when or if I get homesick.

I notice the big warehouses, I used to work in them. I think of the boys and girls my age, who now have to work at them forever, being 18 concludes your chances of dying at the hands of another person from another District. It's not, however, your last chance to die at the hands of starvation, dehydration, sickness, fatigue or a Peacekeeper. I'm not jealous of them.

The car ride ends and we reach the train to take us to the Capitol. A few people see us off, probably rooting for Thresh; he's the most obvious chance of winning out of the two of us. I have a poker face whilst I board the train; it takes me a while to take in the vastness of it.

The door closes and it's gone, forever. Shame forever's a long time, but I think I'll be ok, I'll have my parents forever soon. They're the only people I need.

Ambrosia leads us into the main carriage of the train; I can see it's moving at an impressive speed since I see out of one of the windows.

"200 miles per hour" she comments. I see her looking at me; she was watching me I suspect.

I look around the carriage fully. It's magnificent. Actually, magnificent doesn't even begin to describe it. I've never been in such an expensive looking place before. I've been missing out on a lot. There's cream fabric chairs, sort to the touch and probably extremely comfortable.

"Why don't you too make yourselves comfortable? I'll go and get Aldemar and Neith" Ambrosia announces.

My thoughts stop thinking about the surroundings, and now to our mentors. Neith Mckittrick and Aldemar Torin. They are the only living tributes of District 11. There weren't a few more but they've died now. Neith won the 51st Hunger Games 23 years ago. She just missed out on the Quarter Quell. I was told someone from District 12 won the Quarter Quell. 48 tributes and a boy from the mining District did it. I have to say I'm impressed. Neith was 16 when she was picked. She 40 now, and from what I hear doesn't really do much around 11. I've never seen her before; only from a distance is she's at the Reaping.

Aldemar Torin won the 60th Hunger Games; he was 18, the same age as Thresh and I. It was the year before Barrone's brother was picked. I don't remember it at all, but I heard it was an awful year, a year like no other. My parents refused to let me watch any of it, I was too young and too innocent to witness such violence.

Thresh and I don't talk to one another as we wait for Ambrosia to come back. When the door slides open, our attention focuses to the victors.

Neith looks old. Her slack face and bags under her eyes show that she's still addicted to morphine. It's the first time I get a proper look at her and my respect for her has gone out of the window. She's used her victory to her advantage, and now it's come back to bite her. Wealth gave her the drug of morphine, but morphine didn't give her the look of wealth. She sits down in front of me. I think she's frowning, but then I realise it's just her natural resting face. I'm glad I'm not going to get the chance to ruin my life like she did.

I turn to Aldemar, who gives us a slight smile. He looks his age, 32, and I can tell he hasn't been starving. I know Aldemar, I've seen him talking to Morwen a few times, she told me they were friends at school.

It's then I realise where she was getting all the extra food from. She wanted to make me a little bigger but couldn't afford it with the wage she earned. It also didn't help the fact that I didn't work either, I built up my muscle. I didn't do as much as I had hoped, but I did a fair amount to keep me healthy.

I don't expect Morwen to have told Aldemar, but then I wouldn't put it completely past me.

He seems to be the one with more life in him out of the two. Then again, that's probably because he has a little girl to look after. Medeia had blonde hair, just like her father, except hers were in tight curls. She was 4; by that time Aldemar must've known that his child will still be eligible for the Reaping. Just because their father was a victor doesn't mean the child is discounted. It's a way the Capitol keeps control over the Districts. Doom every child, probably their motto.

We all look up at Ambrosia who's the only one still standing. I think all of the staring put her off so she smiled awkwardly and went over to the table that was covered in foods, most of them I won't be able to name.

I gave one last look to Ambrosia and turned back to Neith. She was still frowning; I guessed that she would hardly smile when we were around her.

Thresh finally spoke up. "So, tell us what we need to do"

"What are your strengths?" Aldemar asks. I keep on looking at Neith, her gaze searing through my own eyes. She's a hard fighter, and that's exactly how she won.

"I'm strong, I can lift and throw" Thresh replies. Aldemar then turns his head to look at me, he expects an answer. Neith doesn't need to turn her head.

I feel under pressure. Just answer honestly Nevelyn. "I have my wits and reasons"

They don't fall silent, they already were, they just don't say anything. I feel I've made myself clear. I stand up and make my way to the food.

I see an array of delectable delights just sitting untouched. I grab a plate and pile the food. I can't even tell the difference between savoury and sweet.

"Ambrosia, where's my room? I ask. She looks at me. Then at the others.

"Are we all done here?" she smiles, even though she's not quite sure.

"Yes, we're done" Neith croaks. Her voice is old and ragged. Effects of morphine and ruining herself. I'm genuinely shocked when she talks. I thought she didn't own a voice box.

"Ok then. Follow me Nevelyn" she smiles and walks out of the room. I follow her and I feel Neith's glare on me the entire time. I look at her for a quick second and I regret it. She shoots daggers in me, it made me feel like I was naked.

The door slides open for us, as if by magic, and she saunters down the long corridor. It's extremely plain, nothing on the walls to brighten it up. I have a sudden urge to throw some of my food at it; it would certainly brighten it up a lot, and also make it smell better.

She stops in front of me at a plain, grey door.

"Here you go sweetie. Everything you need is in there. If you have any queries or questions don't hesitate to ask me or Neith or Aldemar. I'm sure they won't mind the questions" she informs. I'm sure Neith would mind. She would mind if I breathed in front of her, let alone speak or say my opinions.

I smile bleakly at her and walk inside and shut the door.

The first thing I notice is the massive bed that dominates the room. It's much bigger than the one I used to have. I put my plate down on the small table next to it and jump high. I discover that it's extremely bouncy and velvety. It moulds to fit my body shape and I almost fall asleep.

I see another door and explore. It's a room with a proper working toilet, sink and taps. I find the shower the paramount of the small tiled room. It has many nozzles and buttons, who knows what would come out of them.

I go back in the room and sit back down on the bed. I pick up the plate and start to pick at the morsels. Some of it I find heavenly, some I know not to touch again. I feel full, I most probably am wrong but the food's so fatty and juicy it makes me feel bloated.

I stand up and walk to the chest of drawers that is placed under the massive flat television. I pull open a drawer will little effort and I see clean, new clothes. I then look down and judge my own outfit. I do love my mothers' dress too much for words but I wouldn't want to ruin it. I decide to take it off honourably, being as careful as I can when trying to undo the zip, which is easier than expected. I slip it off and fold it. It takes me a few times till I'm fully happy with the result and put it on top of the chest of drawers.

I pick out a plain white t-shirt. To my annoyance, it was tighter than I wanted it to be. I then change my underwear into something simple and in another drawer I find some soft, grey trouser. I put them on and sigh. The luxuries the Capitol have at their fingertips is jealous worthy.

I look at myself before I take out my ribbon. The hairstyle makes me seem younger than I actually am. The way Morwen delicately pulled back my hair improves my face; I usually would pull it tight to make sure every hair is back, I'm sure it didn't do my skin too good.

I slip it out of the knot and hold it. I stroke it a few times. It's the only thing I have to remind me of Morwen. I know I shouldn't take it, I don't want to hold myself back but it's too pretty to let the Capitol have, so I tie it around my wrist.

A knocking sound comes from the door before I can make it too my bed. I open it and its Ambrosia and someone else. I can see she's wearing a plain white uniform.

"Just to say that we will arrive at the Capitol tomorrow. I suggest a shower in the morning if you didn't have one tonight" she looks at me and smiles. I know that she judges me. She then pushes the door open and the woman behind her walks in and takes my plate. She says nothing and walks out.

I expect something about her from Ambrosia but she just carries on with her speech.

"Also, get a good night sleep sweetie. You've had a long day I'm sure" she smiles at me one last time and walks away.

I shut the door and walk to the bed. I slip in between the crisp and cold sheets and think. My mind rushes with thoughts that I can barely gather. I know Ambrosia means well, but it is her job, and without a doubt she gets more money a week then I do every two months. I wonder how she does it, trying to keep a positive attitude but knows we're going to die. It would be my worst job, then again so would being a victor. Living with the replaying memory of the Games, seeing death and causing it as well.

I start to think about Neith. Maybe morphine helped her to forget for a while. Maybe she can't help it but I can't remember what my parents told me about her Hunger Games. There are so many, and so many graves.

It takes me a while, but my eyes start to close by themselves, and then I dream.


End file.
